HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

Pattycakes · by Pattycakes on 28th June 2008, 11:55 pm

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim. I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside.

'Cooter'